COMMUNICATION PRINCIPLES

"Whatever is in your heart determines what you say."
Matthew 12:34 NLT

The sign under a largemouth bass in a taxidermist's window read: "If I'd just kept my mouth shut I wouldn't be here!" Jesus said, "Whatever is in your heart determines what you say." It actually sets the tone in your relationships. Seven percent of our communication is based on content, 38 percent on tone of voice, and 55 percent on nonverbal signals like your facial expression, how you sit and what you do with your hands. Author Mandy Houk says: "If you care little for [people's] feelings... it comes out in your speech... If we intentionally... fill our hearts with love and respect... it overflows into our speech." Solomon said, "A gentle answer deflects anger... harsh words make tempers flare" (Pr 15:1 NLT).

Author Rob Flood outlines two principles that helped change his attitude and heal his marriage:
(1) The principle of first response. The course of any conflict is determined by the responder, not the initiator. When the Pharisees questions Jesus, their intent was usually to trap Him. But because He had the power to determine the direction of the conversation, "They failed... Instead, they were amazed by his answer" (Lk 20:26 NLT). (2) The principle of physical touch. This is hard to apply once an argument has started. So when you know you're about to embark on a touchy subject you may find it beneficial to hold hands or sit close so you naturally touch. Ever notice it's hard to fight with someone when you're making physical contact? Even if you do get into an argument, physical separation can be a visual clue that it's time to switch tactics and regroup.